so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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