I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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