is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
