I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
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