I hate your face
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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