so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
