My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
