Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
high people should be assigned attendants
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
