I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
either way he was missing a nipple.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
