I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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