party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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