As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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