im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
