Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
