I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
