Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
