He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Randomize
