so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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