Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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