he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think a kid would responsible me up
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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