i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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