The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
