she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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