Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize