Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
