dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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