I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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