Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
