I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
