think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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