the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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