doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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