your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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