hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
