now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize