i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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