he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
