Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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