you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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