Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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