I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
