We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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