Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
