you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
