drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize