I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
