Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
