well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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