Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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