my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
