this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
