brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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