just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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