take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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