we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
please come you make the beer taste better
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
