Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
