Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
