I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize